How Can I Be a Better Competitor in Matches?

Tennis Player:

I am a 4.5 tennis player who is really frustrated with my game. I have trouble focusing and tend to lose too many points and especially the crucial points. People comment that I don't seem aggressive enough or as my husband puts it, I am sometimes like "a deer caught in headlights" and just standing there not paying attention. I have always been a good athlete, but not the greatest competitor. The people that I play with are looking for a good game, and many times I feel that I am letting them down (as well as myself).

Dr. Cohn’s Answer:

It sounds like you put a lot of expectations and pressure on yourself in the form of wanting not to disappoint others. Maybe you care too much about what others think when the crucial points come up? From your email, I can tell that you worry about what others think. If others tell you that you are not aggressive enough, I interpret this as you do not have the “killer instinct” to put you opponent away. This is what Tiger Woods is so great at in golf—he wants to win, but he also wants to burry the field. He does not care. It seem to me that you have a double whammy. One is that you are concerned what you opponents may think if you are aggressive and two, you are worried about letting your partners down if you choke. The bottom line is that you have to stop caring so much about what others may think of you if you beat them or you lose the game.

Join Peaksports Online Mental Training System

How do champions win over and over again? By mastering the mental game. Now you, too, can harness the power of unbeatable mental toughness in sports--every time you compete!” Visit peaksportsnetwork and access over 500 performance-boosting sports psychology and mental training tips and programs.