How Do I Remain Composed After Mistakes on the Basketball Court?

Basketball Player:

My coach says that I have lost my composure and I sometimes hit the wall, and I get really mad if I make a mistake. I am a pretty good player, but I think that I get way too competitive. When I make a mistake, I think that the coach is watching and sees that I am doing bad. I don’t want to let him down or him to think I am not good. When I play poorly, I get really upset. What can I do to control myself?

Dr. Cohn’s Answer:

It sounds like you are being a perfectionist on the court and are very hard on yourself. In this state of mind, it is very difficult to develop confidence because you beat yourself up after mistakes or miscues. I would imagine that after each game you only review the missed shots and opportunities. Your frustration can be boiled down to one word: dwelling! When you are frustrated you dwell on the past and get angry that your performance is not going according to plan.

It also appears like you expectations are way out of hand and this goes along with being perfectionistic. You have to stop expecting that you can’t make any mistakes on the court—you are human and will make mistakes.

Being competitive is not the issue—the problem is that you can’t accept mistakes. There is nothing wrong with wanting to win at sports, but the inability to accept mistakes will not help you win. I would suggest that you give yourself the luxury or making a couple mistakes a game so you can plan on with composure when you do make mistakes.

Your frustration is a direct result of the strict expectations you have about what is acceptable and what is not. Let go of these expectations to start with and set manageable goals for your performance such as focusing on the quality of your play. For example, you might want to set a goal to hit 55%-60% from the field when you have an opportunity for an open shot. Stop dwelling on the past error and get your mind on the next play or shot!

Lastly, you can’t worry about letting the coach down—this just serves as a distraction and heightens your frustration. If you have the confidence that you are a good player, then you should not worry about the coach. You do not have to show the coach you are a better player than your mistake indicates—he already knows this. Also, if you display composure with your game and not let errors pull you off your game, other will see this as a sign of your confidence.

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