How Can My Daughter Learn to Trust?

Mother of Gymnast:

We have been reading your articles. This is also her "off-season" for gymnastics competition so the pressure is less. My daughter is doing an intensive camp this week, and her coach (Russian) gave her a nasty look and comment for not trying to do a backhand spring back layout combination on the beam. She is scared. Instead of giving her positive motivation, she shoved her to the low beam to do basic skills and called her "slow." Maybe part of my daughters problems are also this type of coaching method. She is at one of the best gyms in the country for gymnastics and several girls are Olympic contenders from this gym. Obviously something they do there is working to have this number of high level gymnasts, but it doesn't help when your personality is not of the dare-devil variety. Thanks for checking in with me, I appreciate any feedback.

Dr. Cohn’s Answer:

I’m not sure that is a matter of being a dare devil. She does not have to be reckless with her gymnastics. Her issue is one of trust on the beam. I have worked with other gymnasts that have trouble with the back handspring on the beam. It’s a scary move at one point when they can’t see the beam for a split second and have to trust their body to make contact with the beam. If there is any lack of trust, she will freeze and not be able to enter the move. Working on the lower level may take some of the fear away, but ultimately she needs to trust what she already know how to do.

Calling her “slow” is not helping with her confidence or motivation I feel. So you are right on this one. Maybe she does not respond to this style of coaching, but she needs to keep her confidence in the ability to do the skill and not buy into the label of a “slow learner” the coach wants to give her. The coach may have his reasons, but I think you need to focus on your daughter’s reaction to the coach instead of the coach’s behavior. This will help her deal with negative comments in the future. You probably will not be able to change the coach’s behavior. Let me know if I can help her with this.

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