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Fear of Failure for Coaches and Athletes! Join
us for our spring 2007 Teleclass series this month! Topics
include, fear of failure, fear of success, perfectionism,
and improving trust in sports. Go
read more about the spring teleclasses.
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My 10-year-old daughter is a show jumper.
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Feature
Mental Game Article
A Hidden
Causes Behind The Fear of Failure
By Patrick J. Cohn, Ph.D.
I use a simple, but
very important moto when I work with my golf students - "Leave
the golf at the golf course!" Can
you forget about your performance after you leave the playing
field, court, or course? Do you get upset when you perform
poorly and begin to ponder what others think about your game
long after the game is over?
One more
very important question to ask: Does your success or failure
(or your athlete's) in sports on a given day determine how
you feel about yourself after you go back to your home or
hotel room?
Athletes
who care deeply about sports success and who spend a lot
of time practicing or training often wrongly define themselves
through their sport. What do I mean by define
themselves through sport? These athletes live and die with
every performance - their success and failures define the
person.
If they win or perform
well, they are happy with themselves as a person. However,
if they lose or perform poorly, they are upset, frustrated,
and can’t stand to look into the
mirror when they get home. Sad, but this is true in my work…
One of
my students, Erica, played high school golf. Her self-esteem
was closely linked with her performance in sports. She would
get very emotional on the golf course and very upset after
poor rounds. Her feelings of low self-worth stayed with
her well after the rounds; she would feel down after the
round at home.
Erica made
the classic error of defining her self-esteem based on her
performance. When she played poorly, she thought that she
was not a good golfer and thus not a worthy person.
Erica was also very aware of what others thought of her and
was constantly wondering how the other players in her group
evaluated her game and thus her as a person. This mindset
caused a fear of failure when she played.
In addition,
Erica needed her playing partners say "good
shot" after she hit a good shot. She wanted and needed
the support of others to feel confident about her game. She
was hypersensitive to what others say and engaged in what I
call mind reading. She would make assumptions about what others
may or may not be thinking about her game. Her mind reading
ultimately affected her self-esteem.
Her mental game issues were classic signs fear of failure,
low self-confidence, and attaching her self-worth to her sport
success.
However,
Erica is not an isolated case in my work. Athletes who train
all day long – every day or who approach their sports
training 24/7 are more likely
to define themselves through sports. In fact, this is very
common in sports such as gymnastics, skating, swimming, and
golf – sports
that can fill up your day quickly with practice, training,
and competition.
Why is it so difficult
for you to leave your performance on the playing field after
the game? If you define yourself based on your sports performance,
it’s tough not to. You might
even rely too much on approval from others, recognition, or
positive reinforcement for all your hard work. You think approval
from others helps you to help yourself feel better.
____________________________________________
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Coaching Professional Certification Program!
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____________________________________________
Or so you
think… This
is a huge lie. I think humans have a need for recognition
from others, but it becomes unhealthy when you rely too
much on what YOU THINK others think about you and thus make assumptions
that are not grounded in reality.
Social
approval is one of the hidden forces behind the fear of failure
in sports. Like Erica's example, many athletes fear
not getting the support and admiration of others. These athletes
want to feel good about themselves, but for the wrong reasons.
They define their self-worth based on what others think or
what they presume others might be thinking about them – a
concept I introduced earlier called mind reading.
I don’t
want you to think that I am cruel now… I
do have a solution if you (or your child or an athlete you
coach) define yourself by your sports performance.
The solution
is to look inside at the core of who you really are. Who
is the person inside? How do you define the person? The technical
word is self-concept. Your self-concept is
defined by a perception of how you see yourself. Self-concept
is closely linked to self-esteem.
A person
with high self-esteem views their self-concept positively.
A person with low self-esteem views their self-concept negatively.
This is an oversimplification, but I think you get the basic
idea here. Social approval is more important to athletes
who think they need others’ acceptance
to feel good about themselves as people.
OK, my
goal is not to bore you with psychobabble today… But
I do want you to be aware of why it’s hard to leave
the game at the park, feel OK with yourself after a loss,
and resume other parts of your life.
Your mission,
if you choose to accept it, is to define yourself as a person
first. You should not view yourself as an "athlete" who
happens also to be a person. You are a person who also happens
to play sports. This can be a revelation for many athletes
who define the person (self-concept) through
sports.
Your first
task at reducing the negative effects of fear of failure
(related to social approval) is to develop unconditional
self-respect. You develop unconditional self-respect or approval
by giving yourself the stamp of approval without regard for
what you think other may think.
You start by looking
at the person inside – not the
performer or athlete – and define who you are (self-concept).
The final step is to accept who you are unconditionally without
regard for your success or failure in sports!
In my upcoming
teleclass series starting this month, I share my mental strategies
for identifying and coping with the fear of failure. If you
are looking for a simple and cost-effective solution for
coping with fear of failure, this is your best chance! Read
more about the Spring 2007 Teleclass series...
Sports
Specific Mental Training Tip
My
Mom Always Said: Leave the Game at the Park
The theme
of today's message is to leave the game at the park after
your play! You spend enough time practicing and playing your
sport, you don't want to bring it home with you and think
24/7 about your sport. This approach does not help you lead
a balanced life. Balance in your life is critical to enjoying
your sport and life!
"Leaving
the game at the park
was one of my mom's rules -- that when my dad came home
from the ballpark, we were done with baseball. And it's
no different now,"
~Gary Mathews, Jr.
I teach
my students two important mental strategies related to this
topic. The first is to park their life's distractions when
they go play. The second is to leave the game at the
park when they go home. The ability to compartmentalize your
performance from your life will help you focus better when
it is time to perform and also help you enjoy the rest of
your life when you go home after a game!
Podcast
of the Month
Get Psyched for Sports
- Podcast of the Month!
Adam Scott recently won the Shell Houston Open,
but it wasn't easy for him on the last two holes of the tournament.
When under pressure or trying to win, his tendency is to speed
up his pace of play - and his preshot routine.
Listen to a new podcast with Dr. Cohn on how the mental game
changes under pressure and what you can do to control the pace
of your play and nerves in crunch-time...
Show me
the Podcast of the Month!
Pro
Athlete Quote of the Month
"Throughout
our lives, our self-esteem goes down when we feel like a
failure and it goes up when we feel successful. Doing something
well, being praised and feeling loved goes a long way. We
all need to explore opportunities where we can be good at
something and feel good about ourselves."
~Mia Hamm
Ask
Doc Cohn
Sports
Parent:
My 15-year-old
daughter is a high-level competitive gymnast who would like
to compete for a college. She is very
talented but has been stifled this season due to overwhelming
fear. Here is an example: She was midway through
a beam routine when she missed a back handspring and slammed
her leg hard against the beam. For several months, she
was unable to do her beam series due to fear of getting hurt
again. She seems to play all the "what ifs" in her
head now on each apparatus. The coaches get frustrated and
say she is not working to her potential (which is quite high
I'm told). Do you have any suggestions to help her deal
with her fear?
Jump to Dr. Cohn's
answer now!
Most
Valuable Product (MVP)
NEW
& IMPROVED Peaksports Online Mental Training System
Get a competitive edge fast by improving your
mental game and sports confidence with our online mental
training program with even more mental toughness tools for
2007! We have added new sports psychology programs and sports
psychology articles to help you, your child, or your team reach
peak performance. All
live teleclasses are free for peaksports members in
addition to the recordings of 22 one-hour mental training teleclasses.
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Dr.
Patrick J. Cohn
Master Mental Game Coach
Dr.
Patrick J. Cohn is the President and founder of Peak Performance
Sports of Orlando, Florida. He earned his Ph.D. in Education from
the University of Virginia in 1991, and founded Peak Performance
Sports in 1994. Dr. Cohn is an author, speaker and one of the
nation's leading mental game experts. His coaching programs instill
confidence, composure and effective mental strategies that enable
athletes and teams to reach their performance goals. Dr. Cohn
has helped athletes from a variety of sports backgrounds (both
amateurs and professionals) identify and develop the mindset needed
to achieve peak performance. World-class golfers, runners, shooters
and auto racers, as well as motocross, tennis, baseball, softball,
football and hockey players, are among those who have benefited
from his mental game coaching and training.
Make
2007 Your Best Year with The Confident Athlete Series!
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A must have for any competitive athlete or coach!
Read
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2007 Peak Performance Sports, LLC 7380 Sand Lake Rd. PMB
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