Five Tips for Helping Perfectionists Improve Mental Toughness
by Patrick J. Cohn, Ph.D.

In my work, the perfectionistic athlete, the athlete that thinks he or she has a great attitude, is the type of athlete that most often seeks out my help with the mental game and needs help. Don’t get me wrong, some traits of perfectionism are very positive and helpful to performance on the golf course. Qualities such as persistence, determination, and a strong work ethic are excellent qualities to possess in any endeavor. But in golf, if taken to an extreme these same qualities that breed success can cause failure and mental breakdowns. Most Perfectionistic players are extremely dedicated, motivated, and organized with the approach to golf. However, these same qualities can cause players to want to play well so badly coupled with high expectations that any time a perfectionist falls short of expectations, they become mental midgets.

Most perfectionistic players learn early in life that hard work and effort are the keys to success. A perfectionist sets extremely high goals and very high expectations. When this person fails or can’t attain his or her expectations, frustration and doubt sets in very quickly. The result is less confidence and an increase in effort and determination. Soon, this type of player wants to succeed so badly that he or she fears failure and is caught in a web of anxiety and an attitude of trying harder and harder.

A perfectionist has good intentions but an ineffective attitude. The game of golf fosters perfectionism, yet as human beings we are not perfect, and can't be perfect. Golf is a game of misses and the person that can best manage his or her mistakes will prevail. In this issue of Peak Performance Golf Insights, I present some ideas for dealing with a few of the disadvantages of perfectionism.

Identify Strict Expectations That Impede Success. Expectations, especially strict ones such as to hit perfect shots, do more harm than good. Expectations, good or bad, high or low are harmful to performance because they keep you stuck. Placing high expectations on yourself puts you in a win-lose or success-failure situation. If you don't reach your high expectations, it’s easy to judge your effort as a failure. Setting simple goals is a better option. Set simple manageable goals like hitting a certain number of fairways per round or to play one shot at a time.

Focus on Having Fun in the Present. The anxiety you experience partially results from an overemphasis on results or shooting a certain number. Everybody is trying to shoot a good score and you can't control the outcome of a round. Your competitive goal should be to play for fun and the enjoyment of the game. This is easier said than done for golfers who constantly tie themselves up in knots because they try too hard to play well. Start by recalling why you first started playing golf. Did you enjoy the feeling of a well-hit shot? Did you like being outdoors? Try to approach goal like a kid again.

Don’t Beat Yourself up for Mistakes. If you are a perfectionist, you spend too much time dwelling on your mistakes, bad shots, and weaknesses. This is unhealthy for your self-confidence and doesn't let you enjoy golf. Dwelling on your weaknesses and errors sends a message to yourself that you are never good enough. You are not a failure, you just choose to think more about your faults. You have to make the choice to think about the small successes and remember the good shots instead of repeatedly replaying the bad shots. When you finish a round of golf, ask yourself first what two things you did well today instead of beating yourself up for the missed shots.

Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes. Perfectionists think that anything less than a flawless performance is a failure – the first bad shot or bad score on a hole ruins the entire round. You have to accept that you are human and you will make mistakes just like everyone else—it’s part of golf.

Sometimes it helps to give yourself permission to make mistakes. It is unrealistic to think that you can be perfect and even the best players in the world make mistakes. Allowing yourself to make an error helps you play on after that first error without having it ruin the entire day. Give yourself three get-out-of-jail cards at the start of the round and use them when you need to let go of an error or bad shot.

Try Less Instead of Harder. Most hard-working perfectionists think that the harder they try, the better they will play. Trying hard in golf is not an attitude that will lead to peak performance. The harder you try to play well, the more you over control the golf swing and guide your ball. When you press on the golf course, you usually tense-up and steer your shots and putts. To play well, you should trust what you have practiced and allow your natural rhythm to surface. Don’t force a well-learned, trained swing. Next time your play, try less on the golf course and you may surprise yourself.

Need help in other areas of your mental game? Check out Dr. Cohn's Golf Psychology programs.