{"id":2995,"date":"2013-08-22T14:03:24","date_gmt":"2013-08-22T14:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports_psychology_blog\/?p=2995"},"modified":"2025-06-12T05:49:07","modified_gmt":"2025-06-12T09:49:07","slug":"do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Compete to Gain Others&#8217; Approval?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/golf-evaluating-play-gain-approval.jpg\" alt=\"Gain Social Approval for Athletes\" class=\"wp-image-6135\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/golf-evaluating-play-gain-approval.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/golf-evaluating-play-gain-approval-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_You_Worry_About_What_Coach_and_Parents_Think\"><\/span>Do You Worry About What Coach and Parents Think?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Article Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #0769bf;color:#0769bf\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #0769bf;color:#0769bf\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/#Do_You_Worry_About_What_Coach_and_Parents_Think\" >Do You Worry About What Coach and Parents Think?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/#Heres_a_classic_scenario_from_one_of_our_readers_a_sports_parent\" >Here&#8217;s a classic scenario from one of our readers, a sports parent:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/#The_key_is_to_understand_when_you_begin_to_read_others_minds\" >The key is to understand when you begin to read others&#8217; minds:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/#Related_Sports_Psychology_Articles\" >Related Sports Psychology Articles<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/#Golfers_Mental_Edge\" >Golfer&#8217;s Mental Edge<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Many athletes we work with on the mental game worry too much about what others think about them. These athletes have a desire for approval from others, such as teammates, coaches, parents, and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you (or your athletes) want to please others, you have a need to be admired, accepted, respected, or liked by other athletes, coaches, or teammates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have to admit that some this is just human nature, but when taken to an extreme, it can cause athletes to feel pressure and is a huge distraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you worry you&#8217;ll disappoint your teammates or coach if you miss the line drive that scores the winning run?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Heres_a_classic_scenario_from_one_of_our_readers_a_sports_parent\"><\/span>Here&#8217;s a classic scenario from one of our readers, a sports parent:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If my son makes a simple mistake like missing a ball, striking out, missing a throw, and the shoulders slump. That&#8217;s it, days over, in a funk, and upset. His main concern is disappointing the coach, teammates, or parents and worried they will think less of him as an athlete (outcast for not making the play). Why is he so concerned with not letting down others?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This type of thinking not only distracts you from performing in the moment, but it also becomes a source of pressure for many athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We call this concept social approval in our work. Athletes who are preoccupied with what others think tend to engage in what I call &#8220;mind reading.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mind reading is when you make unfounded assumptions about what others might think about your performance, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Is coach disappointed with the errors I made today?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Will my parents be happy with my performance today if I lose?&#8221;<br>&#8220;If I mess up today, will others be happy with me?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Social approval comes in many forms. Some athletes want to please or gain respect from others. Some athletes fear disappointing people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The effect on you is still the same when you perform: pressure, tension, and distraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_key_is_to_understand_when_you_begin_to_read_others_minds\"><\/span>The key is to understand when you begin to read others&#8217; minds:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Do you mind read when others are watching you perform?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do you mind read after you make a mistake?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do you mind read when you see expressions of disapproval from others?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The next step is to understand why you are so concerned with what others think about your game:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Do you want to avoid embarrassment?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do you want to gain others&#8217; approval?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do you want to impress others with your skills?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do you use sport as a way to gain respect from others?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you can uncover when and why you mind read, you can learn to react better in these scenarios.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s a simple mental game tip to help you&#8230; (1) Catch yourself the next time you begin to mind read. (2) Tell yourself that&#8217;s not important right now. (3) Refocus on the current play or shot. That&#8217;s it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This simple strategy will at least help you be more aware when you worry about what others think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your Mental Game Coach,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dr. Patrick Cohn<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"block-979ef383-5bc7-43ee-b8f9-249663ca1a6c\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Sports_Psychology_Articles\"><\/span>Related Sports Psychology Articles<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul id=\"block-05642731-8752-4dbf-9c18-5cc4d276e821\" class=\"wp-block-list has-normal-font-size\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/how-to-perform-under-pressure-with-confidence\/\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/social-approval-for-athletes-in-todays-world\/\"><strong>Social Approval for Athletes in Today\u2019s World<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/how-to-help-young-athletes-overcome-social-approval\/\"><strong>How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Social Approval<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/social-approval-and-distractions-peaksports-video\/\"><strong>Social Approval And Distractions \u2013 Video<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-normal-font-size\" id=\"block-5726d13f-f715-4ca4-8813-2f8a9ebd8bc3\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-normal-font-size\" id=\"block-281f5afb-980b-4c71-9aa0-11d606b5f7c9\"><strong>Download a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/mental-toughness-report-athletes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">free sports psychology report<\/a>&nbsp;to improve your mental game!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-normal-font-size\" id=\"block-94138e75-d591-4645-bb1d-212cf57a8841\"><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sport-psychology-training-athletes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Learn more about our one-on-one mental game coaching.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Golfers_Mental_Edge\"><\/span>Golfer&#8217;s Mental Edge<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/golfers-mental-edge20.jpg\" alt=\"Golf Psychology CD\" class=\"wp-image-4169\" style=\"width:228px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s the <em>big sign<\/em> that <strong>your mental game is the weak link<\/strong> in your golf game? When you can\u2019t play consistently as well as when you play a practice or casual round\u2013or your <strong>range game<\/strong> is way better than your game on the course. If you suffer from <strong>lack of focus, low self-confidence, poor composure or other mental game obstacles on the course<\/strong>, you can\u2019t reach your true potential in golf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The<em> Golfer\u2019s Mental Edge 2.0<\/em> Audio and Workbook program is ideal for any <strong>amateur, collegiate, junior, and tour professional golfer.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Golf coaches and instructors<\/strong> would also be wise to teach \u201c<em>The Golfer\u2019s Mental Edge 2.0<\/em>\u201d principles to their players. This program is perfect for any golfer who wants to improve performance and consistency by managing their mind better on the course.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-b9073d7f\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-45db0ee8 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/golfers-mental-edge-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3478a453 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/for-specific-sports\/products\/golfers-mental-edge-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do You Worry About What Coach and Parents Think? Many athletes we work with on the mental game worry too much about what others think about them. These athletes have a desire for approval from others, such as teammates, coaches, parents, and friends. If you (or your athletes) want to please others, you have a need to be &#8230; <a title=\"Do You Compete to Gain Others&#8217; Approval?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/sports-psychology-blog\/do-you-compete-to-gain-others-approval\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Do You Compete to Gain Others&#8217; Approval?\">Sport Psychology Article&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6137,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[324,1045,547],"class_list":["post-2995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-approval","tag-focus-in-sports","tag-pressure-and-social-media","tag-social-approval-in-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 4.9.6.2 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Some athletes have a desire for approval from others, such as teammates, coaches, parents, and friends. 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