Getting Beyond Fear of Failure

Equestrian:

I am an amateur equestrian and compete in show jumping. When I am training at home, I perform exceptionally well. However, when I am at a competition, I absolutely "fall apart". I become so nervous and filled with anxiety that I cannot "feel" my horse and use my skills appropriately. I become full of self-doubt and worry about everything from forgetting the course that I must ride, to remembering how to feel what my horse is doing every stride. Sub-consciously I believe that I am a loser and a failure even though I love this sport and my horse and I want to be competitive more than anything. How can I change things?

Dr. Cohn’s Answer:

This is the major reason why athletes contact me—they can’t take their practice game to competition. Many athletes can perform well in practice and allow their abilities to shine. However, some of these same athletes have problems performing well in competition when they are under the spotlight and the perceived pressure is on. I can’t address the entire question in this newsletter, but I would like to pinpoint one area to discuss—avoidance behavior as it relates to fear of failure.

Some athletes are motivated to achieve success, whereas others are motivated to avoid failure and the pain of embarrassment. Based on Lisa’s question above, it is apparent that she has fear of failure and anxiety about her performance. One of the components of fear of failure is fear of making mistakes or general “avoidance focus.” Some athletes get so stuck mentally on not blowing their chance that they are paralyzed by fear, anxiety, tension, and doubt as in Lisa’s case. Here is what I would suggest for Lisa:

1. Set positive goals for the event. Lisa needs to set positive goals for each event to help her focus on what she wants to achieve instead of worrying about what could go wrong. Her task then is to totally involve herself in achieving those goals. For example, she could set a goal to feel her horse prior to each jump, something she needs to do but is unable to do.

2. Walk the course and then visualize the course over and over. She needs to feel confident that she knows the course. I would ask her to visualize the course and “see” how she will attack the course before she even mounts her horse. This is relevant to any sport in which you need to have a plan for “running” a course.

3. Have a positive race plan. Anther step for her is to develop a positive race plan to help her focus on what she wants to have happen instead of fearing the worse. The plan is based on strategic decisions about how she will approach each jump with her horse. What is the best way to complete the course given the strengths of her horse?

4. Cut off the doubt fast. The doubt is ruining Lisa’s confidence and making her focus on what not to do. She need to recognize the doubt, cut it off, and refocus on a positive statement that will help her perform—kind of like an affirmation. Instead of doubting that she might fall on the first jump, I would suggest that she tell herself that she will nail the first jump and visualize herself doing so.

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