How to Deal with a Coach Yelling
Nobody likes it when coaches yell at them. Coaches should treat their athletes with respect. Unfortunately, events don’t always unfold as we would like.
Coaches who yell feel as if it is a wake-up call and the best way to deliver feedback or instructions. Most of these coaches have no idea how to communicate effectively, but they may not realize the impact of their actions.
When coaches yell, athletes lose confidence, worry about making mistakes, and lose interest in their sport. For some athletes, their self-esteem takes a hit and they end up believing, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a disappointment,” or “I’m a failure.”
Many times, these athletes quit because they no longer enjoy competing. While you can’t control how your coach gives instruction, there are ways to minimize the negative impact and even help you improve your performance.
Let’s examine three ways athletes commonly respond to yelling from a coach.
Three common ways athletes respond to yelling:
1. Shut Down – Many athletes shut down when coaches yell. It doesn’t matter if the coach has insightful information to build their game. For these athletes, shutting down is an automatic response to the chaos. Shutting down is when you build an invisible wall around yourself. While it may block out some noise, it prevents you from dealing with your feelings or improving your game.
2. Take It Personally – Some athletes only hear the tone. No matter what the coach says, it is drowned out by the yelling. The loud and negative tone is interpreted as if there is something wrong with them.
3. Find the Message – Some athletes separate the message from the tone. They still aren’t okay with the tone, but they extract what can help their game and discard the rest. This enables the athlete to protect their confidence, sift through the BS, and find information they can apply to elevate their game.
If their coach is just ranting, they chalk it up to the coach having a personal issue. It isn’t right to be subjected to such nonsense, but try not to allow it to affect you negatively or lessen how you think about yourself.
If your sport is important, don’t allow anyone to steal your joy. Instead, look for the message and stay committed to your game.
In Game 2 of the NBA playoff series between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Minnesota Timberwolves, Lakers coach JJ Redick became livid early in the second quarter.
Redick called a timeout and was angry with his team for allowing an 8-4 run to open the second and cut the Lakers’ lead to eleven. Redick didn’t hold back during the timeout. After the game, Los Angeles Laker LeBron James commented on Redick’s outburst and the importance of separating the message from the tone.
JAMES: “We know JJ is going to (flip) out from time to time. That’s JJ. … At this point, for us, we obviously need to listen to the message and know how it’s delivered. For me, my high school coach my freshman year was kind of the same way. He would (spaz) out on us and you have to be able to understand it’s not how it’s saying it. But we responded out there.”
Dealing with an angry coach isn’t easy, but you have the power to control your response. Your coach’s tone should never define your ability or your worth. It is crucial to stay focused on what matters: your love for the game and your athletic journey.
When your coach yells, take a deep breath, extract any useful information, discard the noise, and remind yourself why you started competing in the first place.
Related Sports Psychology Article
- Annoying Sports Parents Who Yell from the Sideline
- How to Focus When Coach is Yelling – Video
- How Top Coaches Help Athletes Succeed
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